Nathaniel Reviews Everything

The word "pudding": 8/10

Pudding.

The word "pudding" actually comes from a French word that originates with a Latin word that means something like "sausage." A far cry from the tastiness that we currently attribute to the word "pudding."

To me, the word "pudding" holds a jarring dissonance that is difficult to overcome at times. With some mental gymnastics that require a level of patience and concentration beyond that of mere mortals, I can force my mind to associate the word with a light, creamy dessert that is both sweet and flavorful. However, to perform that sort of exercise of superior mental prowess takes a massive, almost Herculean effort. Why?

Say it with me: pudding. Pood. Eeng.

Who decided that this should be the name of a tasty dessert? Most tasty desserts actually sound tasty. Cake. Ice cream. Cookies. No problem. But pudding? Someone was asleep at the wheel, there. Someone in France.

Still, when I can get past the name, the stuff is amazing.

7 out of 10 for rich, creamy flavor -- and being able to make my mind do things it shouldn't be capable of just to get past the name and eat it.

Nathaniel Reviews Everything (http://reviews.posterous.com)
- Visit my blog and online home at http://nerdflood.com

Comments [1]

The Smoretilla™: 7/10

The wife discovered this sacrilegious concoction on some blog she reads. Obviously it was a blog, it had to have been, because these days that's the only way information is stored and distributed online. The encyclopedia of the future will not be Wikipedia, it will be a carefully maintained interconnected web of links between Wordpress and Blogspot that will only contain entries on recipes and Battlestar Galactica.

But I digress.

The creation that we have appropriately christened The Smoretilla™ is a fairly simple treat to manufacture. You start with a fresh tortilla. Pile a generous serving of chocolate chips in the center. Arrange marshmellows in a protective shield about the chips. Wrap like a burrito. Microwave for ten to fifteen seconds. Devour.

It's a quick snack that satisfies completely. However, it isn't an overly complex blend of exotic flavors; nor is it a particularly innovative invention. It's just chocolate and marshmellows, wrapped within a handy replacement for the previous standard smore handling mechanism, which consisted of two graham crackers clumsily shoring up the melting gooiness of the sugary ingredients. The old way was messier and prone to accidents. The Smoretilla™ is nothing more than a cleaner form of smore. It is a necessary upgrade to an obsolete practice. It is, as Darwin would have proposed, an evolution. And a damned tasty one, at that.

7 out of 10

Nathaniel Reviews Everything (http://reviews.posterous.com)
- Visit my blog and online home at http://nerdflood.com

Comments [4]

My boys (while they're sleeping): 9/10

My sons (aged 2 and 5) often wander their way into our bed at different times during the night. While inconvenient to our invaluable sleep cycles, the image of our beautiful slumbering children sprawled out over the blankets and pillows in the morning is even more precious than a deep, restful sleep. And beyond that, as well, the silence and calm of those quiet, subtle moments after dawn is an exquisite commodity. If one could consider tranquility within a roaring family of four to be a form of currency, we would find ourselves rich beyond our imaginings in the early hours of the morning. The stillness of the house is remarkable, with soft, gentle whispers of sleeping drifting out of our bedroom door. Oftentimes, a quiet hug as I prepare to leave for work will stir them enough to respond with a wordless embrace, eyes fastened shut to the growing light outside the doors and windows.

That said, waking up to a small foot lodged in your trachea keeps this from being a perfect 10.

9 out of 10!

Nathaniel Reviews Everything (http://reviews.posterous.com)
- Visit my blog and online home at http://nerdflood.com

Comments [0]

Pepsi Stuff bottle cap codes: 1/10

Have you seen these things? You get one or two of these gorgeous little bottle caps, peek at the code mercilessly stamped inside by some apathetic whirring machine in China, and you squeal slightly with glee at the thought that just a small handful of these will gain you FREE MUSIC. Truly we live in a Utopian society for this to be an absolute truth.

However, over time you collect more and more of these insidious little bastards. First it's just ten. Then it becomes fifteen. Twenty. All the while, you keep telling yourself that eventually you will enter those codes into the website and reap your just rewards.

Then it's thirty. And now, for me: forty. I unceremoniously heave the collection onto my table and glare menacingly at my mass of orange blotches--my plague of "free music"--strewn about the surface. The truth becomes slowly apparent. This music is not "free". It is paid for with the blood and sweat pouring from my fingers and brow as I pick up each and every cap, tap in each and every ten-digit code, and wearily wish for a quick death as I grasp for the next jagged chunk of plastic. This is not the path I chose for myself. This is the life of a lowly data entry peon working for minimum wage, not me.

And yet, here I am. I want my free music.

1 out of 10, Pepsi. ONE. Out of TEN.

Nathaniel Reviews Everything (http://reviews.posterous.com)
- Visit my blog and online home at http://nerdflood.com

Comments [5]

Bowl of Reese's peanut butter crunch cereal: 5/10

A late-night snack that combines the creamy taste of peanut butter with the rich, smooth flavor of chocolate. Unfortunately, this particular bowl of cereal did not live up to its excellent history. A disproportionate ratio of peanut butter to chocolate puffs created a mixture where the peanut butter taste was carelessly allowed to overpower the chocolate flavor. Combined with a neglect for the appropriate volume of milk for the puffs to soak within made this ordinarily satisfying treat a disappointing experience.

5 out of 10

Nathaniel Reviews Everything (http://reviews.posterous.com)
- Visit my blog and online home at http://nerdflood.com

Comments [0]

My soda koozie: 8/10

Having graced my office desk for a good five years now, I have to admit that my Thermos koozie holds up surprisingly well. It has a thick aluminum casing that successfully traps the coolness without making the surface of the koozie cold to the touch. My only complaint would be that the rubber lining at the top tends to slip off every now and again in the process of reloading the koozie with a fresh beverage. But after so many years of daily soda can coolage (and various tosses across the office in toddler-esque temper tantrums and fits of rage) it has not only survived, but performed admirably.

8 out of 10!

Nathaniel Reviews Everything (http://reviews.posterous.com)
- Visit my blog and online home at http://nerdflood.com

Comments [1]